Things that give me a burning sensation:
1. Commit lozenges
2. Park Slope
Because no one gets tired of Park Slope douchebag stories...I was sitting on the 5th ave bus (urgh) and the twat next to me was talking on his cell to a 'friend' (like he has friends with his adidas tearaway pants and Muscle Milk (I tried to peek inside his shopping bag for confirmation of douche status; that's what I imagine was inside)) about how his other friend's girlfriend was 'SO annoying'? Why was she SO annoying, you ask? Well, apparently she looked like trailer trash trying to look posh (for Park Slope?) and even though she had been to Europe, she had the gall to order 'pie-ella' at a Spanish restaurant. Muscle Milk's girlfriend was horrified. I was horrified that he had a girlfriend. What's more, he was apparently shopping for a ring for her today. So if anyone out there is a snob about paella and is dating a snotty loser with no neck and a bag full of steroids, watch out. You have a lifetime of bus passes and misplaced elitism waiting for you.
Yeah, I'm a chronic eavesdropper/judgmentalizer...what of it?
1 comment:
Maybe Senor Jerkface was from another neighborhood? Sigh. I don't live in the Slope anymore, but so many of my friends do, and I enjoyed my time there, so I do get defensive about it. Every neighborhood has assholes! At least Mr. Mocking Poor Pronunciation (I assume the pie-ella was snide, right?) was not pushing a double-wide.
Also, and much more importantly:
A headline of "It burns!" next to a bottle of douche? . . . Let's just say this post was not about what one might have thought it was going to be about. After one was done flinching in the fetal position.
Post a Comment